


Steve's all that

by Etienne_Lennon



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-30 18:24:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10882431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Etienne_Lennon/pseuds/Etienne_Lennon
Summary: Bucky is confused about his feelings for Steve (what else is new?). Just a little writing exercise to get a feeling for these two.





	Steve's all that

You look into the mirror and shake your head. „Christ, Barnes, get a grip!“ you tell yourself but it doesn't really work. You can't get a grip. Not anymore. Not when Stevie is – your Captain now. 

You take a couple of deep breaths and try some cold water on your face. That's better actually.

You want to hit yourself in the head. Because this is Steve. Steve, who you always thought is just so good and pure and beautiful. 

You love him like you would love a little brother. Don't you?  
So now he is big, admittedly taller than you, admittedly more muscular than you. But so what? That shouldn't change anything. That shouldn't make you feel all hot and bothered when you see him. For crying out loud. Barnes, you're a grown man who has always liked women.

Maybe what's what this is, you tell yourself. You're at war. You haven't been with a woman in like forever. And you have been captured and tortured. Who knows what they did to you? Who knows what they've taken out and put back in. 

Today has been an especially bad day for you. At least in terms of what you have come to call your „crazy thing with that new Stevie“. Because new Stevie carries the body of a stranger, but he doesn't have a stranger's respect for your personal space. 

So there he was, leaning against you, brushing your arm, even putting his arm around your shoulders while walking with you to the mess tent. 

And you have never realized, how good Steve smells, even unwashed and in a uniform that has seen better days. You never realized how his skin feels surprisingly soft on yours. 

So there you go, you're a pervert. A bad friend. A bad person. You've always known that. But somehow you thought you're different when it comes to him. 

You've always thought your feelings for him were good. 

Now you can't sleep in one tent with him and you feel like you did in puberty around pretty girls all the time. Back then the trick was to man up, charm them and realize underneath the shiny curls and the lipstick there is nothing that made any of them special to you.

With Steve you know already just how special he is. 

You know you would follow him to the end of the world. That little guy from Brooklyn.

And your big hunk of a Captain? Well, you would certainly follow him into bed. You would let him do everything to you, take you apart and put you back together. 

You realize that now and you cannot meet his honest gaze. Can't meet those eyes that have stayed the same. 

If he knew, what would he do to you? You don't know. You just think he wouldn't want to hurt you.  
But Steve's pity? That's something you cannot take. Won't take.  
So you feel his arm around you and you shut the fuck up about what he does to you.  
Your Steve. Who is all that.

FIN


End file.
